I have not been sick but this is Day 17 for me. I was early on the self-isolate bandwagon.
I can work remote so it has been a blessing to have that framework of stability around my days. Other than the great TP shortage of 2020, we have not had any issues with food. We only, very carefully, head out to the stores once a week and while you can’t get exactly what you want – it is pretty hit or miss – we have plenty to eat.
With 6 of the 8 of us being teenagers – I have to say man-oh-man teens eat a lot of food! Oh, I miss that metabolism I once had. Luckily, we have been getting care package and insta-cart deliveries, mostly of snack food for the teens.
So, as I sit here early on a Saturday morning, I’m hitting a wall. I recognize that I’m hitting a wall of stress and feeling guilty that I’m in this place when it could be so much worse. When even my dog is on my last nerve, I gotta do something! During the week as I find myself teetering on losing it over things like, the dog getting into the trash can again, the late-night kitchen raids by teens that leave dirty dishes, open cookie boxes etc… on my counters and tables, to the blatant disregard for TP rationing, I’ve been able to take a deep breath and put it into perspective.
My mantra of We’re all Healthy, We’re all Safe, usually calms me down. I’m going to need something a little more drastic in order to recharge this weekend and get ready for another week of this.
I’m going to need to, for one night, ban all showers after 6:00 so I have enough hot water to take a bath. Two cold failed attempts during the week, left me fuming. Teens take really long showers but that’s a story for another day.
I’m going to need to clean top-to-bottom this 1,600 square foot house. The interim attempts by teens have helped but I need sparkling right now.
I’m going to need sunshine and exercise – I have been doing this daily but I think I need a bigger dose this weekend. Don’t worry, I can do that without a lot of people around.
I’m going to need to cry – I have not done that yet but I keep finding myself tearing up and forcing it down. A good crying jag will get that out of my system. I just need to find a way to do that without freaking the kids or husband out, so, this is in the ‘what I need’ that probably won’t happen category.
I’m going to need to hear the voices of people I love that aren’t with me right now. I need to check in on friends and family – I don’t trust the social updates although I have to say people are being more real right now.
I’m going to need to continue to pray – I believe in the power of positive thoughts and it certainly can’t hurt right now. And with that, I hope you and your families stay safe. We will get through this and on to whatever the new normal looks like on the backside.
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