Gone too young

When children are young, parents are the primary teachers. As they grow up and become adults (even young adults), life is the primary teacher and our role as parents shifts more to cheerleader, sounding board, and bank.

It is so tough to not be able to put a band-aid on a hurt and distract them with ice cream anymore. The hurts are much bigger now. My oldest wolf recently lost a friend who died in an accident, fast and unexpected.

I can’t make that hurt go away. I have to sit on the sidelines and watch him go through the pain. All I can do is get him across the country to be with his friends, listen to the stories that he needs to tell to keep his friend’s memory alive, and trust that he will be okay in the end.

He will forever be slightly changed now. He now knows a loss he has never felt before. There is a chink in his invincibility armor that wasn’t there before. And as a Mom, I can’t help but think, maybe, just maybe that will save him from some close call down the road. That little extra niggling voice telling him to be careful, to slow down.

But for now, I grieve for a child that I do not know. I ache for the pain that I can’t take away for my son. And as I always do in these situations, I search for answers that can’t be found, and cling to the reminder to love a little more today – give out those hugs and be generous with your words because we just never know.

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