Shortly after moving out of my parent’s home, I sent my Mom a card with the Cathy cartoon character that showed Cathy and her Mom with the caption, “they may have cut the umbilical cord but they’ll never cut the phone cord.” Twenty plus years later that card is still next to the phone in Mom’s kitchen.
I’ve been back in Atlanta for just over a week now and it’s difficult. I’m so happy to be with my family every day and the first few weeks of the year at work are always so busy, but I so want to be with my Mom too. I talk to Mom daily and find it interesting what you can hear in a voice that you might miss when you are with someone all the time. I’ve stopped asking how are you doing. I’ve changed it slightly to what’s going on today or who stopped by. I let Mom lead, sometimes she does not have a lot of energy and our conversations are short, sometimes our talks are longer as she remembers something she wanted to be sure to tell me.
Getting to talk to Mom every day makes me realize that when I’m back with her later this month, I need to slow down and just spend time with her. I’m a doer so I’m always cooking, cleaning…always busy doing something. On the phone, I’m just with her.
I’m worried constantly about not being there. It reminds me of when my kids were young and they had nannies. I had to get over the fact that they didn’t do things exactly the same way that I would. In the end the kids were still taken care of just fine. I’m not good at letting go and just like with my kids, my sister is probably laughing at my ten plus pages of instructions. I’m trying but it’s not easy!